\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. See our disclosure for more info. cant understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Im feeling absolutely fantastic, thank you so much for asking. ", 149. 10 Signs You're Actually a Genius (Intelligence Test) - YouTube Try again. solve if you are genius - Pinterest Ill be poor., 16. 300 Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh | Keep Inspiring Me John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. This wasnt for any religious reasons. "Strong Power Thank You." "Jimin you got no jams." "When your hungry Chicken is the best." "Pornesian Parapio" "Haters gonna hate, player gonna play, live your life man good luck" "Why you sad? Maryn Liles Oct 26, 2022 We all know the feeling. ", 176. Please be patient. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. ", 90. Home / Knowledge / 80 Funny, Witty & Creative Response to How Are You?, Do you ever feel like people are always asking the same question? When God talks to us, were schizophrenic. Keep rolling your eyes. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. I think he was right. A little bit worse now that youve asked. Could have been worse, right. Some of the links in this post may be affiliate links. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. 12 Genius Ways To Respond When Someone Says 'You Look Tired' "Common sense is like deodorant. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. "Just burned 2,000 calories. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. ", 67. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. IHateEvery0neEqually 3 yr. ago. Everyone always asks me how I am doing because they expect me to say that I feel great. Here are 6 of the funniest reviews we've encountered: 1) Sometimes you just need to get on your customer's level, even if that means heading to Never Never Land. "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." ", 156. When youre in love its the most glorious two and a half days of your life. 12 Tricky Riddles That Will Stump Even Your Smartest Friends! "Some people really suck. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life .". My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. "I have a sleep disorder. 10 signs you're actually a genius 1) You don't fit in a box Of all the signs you're actually a genius (even if you don't think so), this ranks number one. They say sarcasm shows weakness, but who gives a crap what they think?! Groucho Marx, 121. Very few people die past that age. "There are two theories to arguing with women. "OMG stop. I want my children to have all the things I couldnt afford. And by then it was too late." Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. At least theyre committed. ", 142. ", 161. Posted May 27, 2016. "Sorry for being late. If you want to be smart and funny, then read this section because I have put together some genius responses that people will think are out of this world! "Oh, you hate your job? By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Ignore him. Youre so smart is one awesome compliment. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. 51 Hilariously Genius Desktop Wallpapers That Will Make You Look Twice. Thank you! I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. If you live to be one hundred, youve got it made. One study from 2015, covered by Scientific American, found that sarcasm can actually increase creativity flow. My anxiety levels now you're here. For starters, people might think that theres something wrong if youre not great. Yeah-yeah, three years. Sarah Rees Brennan, 117. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door because I'm not a liar. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Willing to take the risk? Im just describing you. My friends are so much cooler than yours. Free downloads. "You're everything I want in someone I don't want anymore. Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. Here are the best funny jokes for teens, clean jokes for teens and overall stupid but good jokes. He wont expect it back. Wait a moment and try again. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment. "People think I go out of my way to piss them off. Im on the verge of tears, but its okay. ", 100. I'm way worse. Nobody plans a murder out loud. I always love such questions and answers. Erma Bombeck, 114. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Anonymous, 168. A humorous reply can be a great way to break the ice and make the conversation more enjoyable. ", 105. "I am not lazy. ", 74. The road to success is always under construction. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ", 157. "For Halloween, I'm going to be emotionally stable. Theres a fine line between genius and insanity. ", 98. One way to give a humorous reply is to stop being so noisy. If you check out enough monkeys, sooner or later one of them will start typing Shakespeare. Everything is funny, as long as its happening to somebody else. "I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my key, pen, cell phone, temper, and even my mind. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron? Id agree with you but then wed both be wrong., 85. 6. Her Pics Are Beautiful. I would say that I dont have enough information to answer how are you, but that wouldnt be true. Come back anytime you can benefit from a good laugh, and stay inspired. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ", 167. Required fields are marked *. Love is. Then I suggest you quit finding me., 10. There are many fun things we could say and people will think that youre smart and interesting! So far, so good. Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. You're A Genius If You Can Answer These 5 Questions. 3. WHEN YOU'RE A GENIUS (OR NOT) #6 - YouTube When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Source: paul ross, with permission. Witty responses to How are you? are more fun than an ice cream sundae on a hot summer day. Times up mate! The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people. Asking me is like asking an apple how it feels about oranges. For those who didnt, heres the lady. Education is learning what you didnt even know you didnt know. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. When you go to work, if your name is on the building, youre rich. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. In some ways, sarcasm is creativity. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. Everyone has a different sense of humor. ", 62. I feel ten years older already. "I love being me. "I was married by a judge. Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. 30 Brilliant Test Answers From Smartass Kids | Bored Panda This is another fun one that shifts the focus back on the other person and the annoying question they just asked you. If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I am so overwhelmed right now, I think my brain is going to explode. ", 198. "Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything., 20. Inside me theres a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. 4. ", 197. This article has been viewed 46,489 times. ", 129. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Neither one works." I dont want to give off the wrong impression., 104. By. I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. Tread carefully thoughon the other end of the spectrum, many therapists warn that sarcasm could significantly impair relationships. Theres a support group for that. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. But a confident bald man theres your diamond in the rough. "I lost your number. ", 43. Sir Winston Churchill, 159. The forest in the picture is located in Lower Saxony, Germany. I love sarcasm. Never follow anyone elses path. I lost it when I hit 'delete. 6) Savage Comebacks When People Say You Have Changed. ", 99. Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. So just sit back, relax, and take a break from your boring, tiring online activities. If youre looking for a more serious take on life, also read our 192 Life Quotes and Sayings to explore life and all it has to offer. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. We hope our collection of funny quotes from comedians, celebrities, and philosophers made you laugh out loud and gives you the cheer you need to get through the day. "You play the victim. ", 128. Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Cecilia Egan, 101. I have put together examples that will make your conversations more interesting. Find your patience before I lose mine., 6. You don't normally get this type of praise from them, and it means the world to you. 1. Joan Crawford, 107. "Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane. The same old answers get boring, so you should try a little bit of humor at times because you might make someone laugh instead of feeling awkward. "We all know someone who speaks fluent crap. A man doesnt know what he knows until he knows what he doesnt know. A lot of hard work went into this.. Thank you for your patience. ", 183. Some are just hilarious fails. Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. But the correct answer to this question is Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 1 Tease him to get him interested. Im doing my part to conserve electricity; I turned off my smiley face lamp. After all, they do it for a living! ", 139. Im one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood. "Apparently rock bottom has a basement. My neighbors diary says that I have boundary issues., 35. Money wont buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. ", 179. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Cant find all the six horses? Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. I should be saying that about you., Im only the really smart one when Im with you!. ", 50. ", 70. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider mans best friend is his dog. ", 177. Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Sometimes, its good to be a little silly and fun! ", 155. "There's someone for everyone and that person for you is a psychiatrist. Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh. Not only is it a bore to write, most people will be less than delighted to read it when they were expecting a real response from you. Trust me, it's not out of my way at all. "What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor. I wouldnt camp out for five days if was camping. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. The first is your memory goes, and I cant remember the other two. When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark., 2. Thanks to German artist Jrg Dsterwald who is a specialized body painter. A woman is like a tea bag you cant tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. ", 76. There is no in between. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. ", 119. 15. Answer: Bill. Average, I think, that sounds about right. 4. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldnt pay the bill he gave me six months more. ", 36. "I am currently under construction. Creatives are free thinkers who arent afraid to share their thoughts outside of the box. There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. I go normal from time to time. Im fine; its the world around me that seems crazy. ", 138. 4. "This is what happened in love. Then I want to move in with them. In all seriousness though, there's even some scientific merit to such claims. I live about four muggings from Central Park. I dont have the energy to pretend to like you today., 22. They couldnt find three wise men and a virgin. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Since everyone wants to know how I feel I put myself through college. '", 191. Its only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? I just need to be dramatic first. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. "Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list. It could always have been worse. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. Ashleigh Brilliant, 32. Fortunately, I love money. The difference between Im fine and Ive been better is about 3 coffees. My name is Bill and Im here for a good time, not a long time. ", 152. If youre too open-minded; your brains will fall out. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? What's the best response to 'you're not funny?'. Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. 5. The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. I stared at him until he apologized. ", 178. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. It was in my business. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. 'I'm Chewbacca! A man in love is incomplete until he has married. ", 147. People say that laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world., 26. What do you think are the most iconic/funny BTS quotes amongst - Reddit Dont let schooling interfere with your education. "Lead me not into temptation. Looking for a good laugh? Sure Ill help you out the same way you came in., 66. ", 83. What is the best response when someone tells you that you are genius Something went wrong. Its a recession when your neighbor loses his job; its a depression when you lose yours. "If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. You know you're funny. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em later. (OR NOT) #6#Fails #Stupid #Funny "Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. "Love is a fire. "I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability." Im sorry, I dont know what youre asking. I have asked these questions, these riddles to many people and they all failed to answer correctly. You have to be pretty crafty and clever to whip up a sarcastic comment on the spot. "Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." Its like punching people in the face but with words., 13. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Here are some examples you could use. They're the people who put their foot on the scales when you're trying to weigh yourself. Somewhere in the puzzle lies the answer. 100 Funny and Clever Replies to Compliments. "Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Like I said, it's mean but ostracizing him might be thw only way he'll understand. I dont believe in astrology; Im a Sagittarius and were skeptical. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. If at first you dont succeed, quit. Do you really care? 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade "I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "I'm starting to think my purpose in life is to serve as a cautionary tale to others. 'Cause baby, you're a firework. The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. You know what Im talking about. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. This includes a remarkable change in actions, thoughts, outlook, personality, dreams, and aspirations. ", 78. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. I never forget a face, but in your case, Ill be glad to make an exception., 27. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com What A Strange World We Live In Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. ? I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! If at first, you dont succeed, skydiving is not for you., 25. I'm a spicy disaster. When we murder you, you'll be perplexed. I had plastic surgery last week I cut up my credit cards. Sacha Guitry, 111. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 46,489 times. I Somehow Doubt You Did. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 88.