I dont know how this pain is ever going to go away. I am doing my best to just not communicate with him. god help me to get through this. Unfortunately, theres little we can do about that. He would pick on me for everything in front of the kids. Its about being happy and greatful for what you have not what you dont getting frustrated because you cant get your own way and wanting to destroy the other person who at one time you were supposed to love . I suspect someone else has caught his attention. We've always had an amazing sex life and a great. The visits start again The hits keep coming. When I got back a gut feeling told me to check our trash in the trash can . They are apps you can install on a cell phone that is undetectable to the person, yet you will be sent reports of calls, texts etc. It sounds as though you are both happy apart from that but I honestly dont know whether sex is too important to be ignored in a long term relathionship or not. I need some advice and to help here with my own feelings. Who knows, by the time he comes around I probably will be so brand new that he wont be able to afford me, not mentally , not financially or in any way possible. I realize this only after they no longer appear. 6 months ago my wife of 6 years been together now going on 9 years looks over at me and says she doesnt know if she wants to be married anymore. Do not try to get her back at this time at least. So how does one go on with life and ever feel love again??? I dont care if you were tired of being the blunt, you took vows that said through sickness and in health. Please send me strength. I have been begging wife to stop the lies, stop the backstabbing, and stop the abuse of pills and alcohol.. without trust there is no foundation without a foundation the house falls. I also found out she was picking up meds for patients . Also how about youre the one who threw him out because after losing your whole family he tells you that he hopes you die of cancer. I have become this weird doormat type character to her waiting on her every move. He would always say. Obviously, you wanted to marry him/her and you knew that marriage was tough. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. My job prevented me from being at 4 treatments. I was lonely for a friend, a companion, a co-pilot and a lover to share the rest of my life with. I feel invisible again. Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. Relationship communication can be enhanced with mindfulness and deliberate attention to the present moment, benefitting your general well-being. As with a garden, when a relationship isnt tended to, it withers and dies. Love hurts. She would tell me that she doesnt love me right now or not coming back right now. I will follow this for now. We have been married for 4 years and together for 7. Home has been sold and I need to be out in 1 month and now he wants to send people to my home to pick things up. Straamy2 where are you from? According to people posting on some dacryphilia chat forums and the available research the curling of the lips during crying can be a crucial factor. Your husband might turn you off because he is not attractive anymore, disrespects you, lacks the effort to make you happy, and might neglect you. Only single guy in my group. Expressing to your partner how you feel about the relationships level of trust is crucial. Please help I feel like Im drowning and dont know how to protect my kids from the pain they will feel, I feel horrible for you, this is going to be a very hard time but youre going to have to focus on the kids. WHY??? Been together 10 years. My bf of 4 years we lived together pretty much the whole time with my now 6 yr old son 2 when he met him. Just do your best to keep it together for your kids, and realize that there will be a rainbow at the end of the dark cloud. God the waves of dispair are so crushing. I found out she already had a rental before she even told me. It is the most painful thing ive ever experienced. And, no, she doesnt want to give it to you, shes buying her way out. My wife of 10 years left 4 weeks ago and hasnt looked back. Pregnant or signs of coming off the pill? Mental and physical self first ok. Life is like. Its a long story between my ex and I, but basically he just left me one day because I wouldnt give him 20 dollars for gas, because I didnt have it, and I wouldnt let him use my car because I only had enough gas to get back and forth to work and didnt have any more money to put in my tank because I paid the bills, I dont know where his money went. No-one can help you or tell you what to do, there are always going to be good and bad times in a relationship. Left with no reason. Every time you allow someone to get over on you or away with something that hurts you, this takes a piece of you away. Im no angel to live with but I always saw us together until the end. My son just walked around crying this whole time. People, most of us humans are simply selfish. The taint of desperation lingers at my heals and I fight to be encouraging to two son who have lied to and thrown away as I have like trash. It can be rough to feel as if you are on your own. The following morning I came across more items that appeared to be missing from the house again and when I was once again told that he had given items to family members without even discussing it with me, I became very upset and hurt. Go to the gym to tske out your anger, watch movies to get out of your painful world for awhile. Forgive and love, indefinitely. How Do I Shake the Anger I Feel after My Husband's Affair? Shes blocked me completely out her life and of my nephews on her brothers side. please advice me what to do. Well she was mixing high doses of Vicodin and Soma pills . I couldnt believe she would do this to our family. Darkest days of my life. That really hurts. it will come . Men don't always know how to make their wives happy. I received deployment orders to head to Africa for a rapid response unit to help combat the Ebola virus and contain it by building ETU facilities. *they need to take some time for themselves Be we can do it. All relationships develop over time, and when one partner becomes accustomed to the other, they often become critical. Grass is not always greener and a lot of times they are then in a new relatioship only to wakeup one day and find they feel exactly the same as they did in the previous relationship .Talk to each other sort problems out no one is perfect dont badmouth the other person . What he really needs now is your understanding and support. It is natural, it is unavoidable, it can cycle back more than a few times throughout the course of a healthy relationship, and it's something you can work through. Im being civil about it becuase of my son but it hurts everytime I see him. This is perhaps the most compelling argument for why men should allow ourselves to dip our toes into the emotions we feel less comfortable with. I just wish I could hit fast forward. He insisted he had never acted on it, but that it turned him on. My wife and I have been together every day for 28 years.Married for 24 this Jan 1st and we lived together for 4 years. She manipulated the men that followed her to gas station. i do not think I could ever do this to another human being and especially one I am suppose to care about but then again I am not self-centered like she is! I wish you all the best I thought it was just a phase and didnt think anything of it until I found a phone number of a girl in his wallet. Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. Hi, another in the same boat, was with my partner for 8 years, we had had a rough year as his hours were dropped to 3 days, then he got suspended, then sacked , secured him a job at where i work, his mum extremely ill and died recently, stuck with him through all this and then 2 months ago he literally stood up and said he didnt know what he wanted and went, phone contact for a while now zilch, nothing, have asked in a text as he not speaking ( so didnt want to mither) if were done yes or no ? $('.submenu').hide(); Sex left the building and life really took over and the issue of lack of intimacy would come up always from her as to why how come we never have sex anymore and then over more time, and even after attending marriage counselling together it never did get resolved. At the same time, sometimes it is better to know the truth. I am 28.after 5 year of marriage my wife left me.our relationship was role model in the society.I had just started to earn the best salary which could be enough for our happy future but she has left me and I think there is value of the money.she was satisfied with every angle including sexual too.but suddenly she changed decision and staying with her parents.cant believe. }); Too often it is because we come into relationships with unrealistic expectations or for unhealthy reasons. You may click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. She always eyeballed a house that her male boss was selling. She moved in with me for several months, but had second thoughts and ended moving to one of her relatives for a few months to sort things out. Ive just found out hes been messaging an ex alot but swears only messaging. They WOULD NOT like that at all. I kept telling him she felt more than friendship. Im still not sure how he just left us like that. I do not know what else to say other then this is heart breaking. var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; We have three kids together. img.wp-smiley, My very best wishes to you all. I cant know what went wrong. Ive taken 2 sessions of therapy now as I was so devastated and one thing I was told is that Im not alone. So, i had to ask my family for money. Cant eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Im not perfect and have owned and taken responsibility for all my faults but the blame. I have no clue what to do with my time now. They started talking all the time. Tags Brene BrownEmotional WithdrawalFeelingsJohn GottmanshameShutting down. How do You recover or get over something like this??? it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? And they spoke to their daughter over phone. At some point its not worth wondering about your spouse because you can never really rationalize behavior that stems from this kind of illness. I went into shock.. Two days later I went and begged for another chance.she said yes and we spent what I thought was a day filled with renewed spirit, touching holding talking. 250 Anyway things bumbled along for about 2 years then her new best friend decided to came on to me which I thought was a joke at first as that sort of thing never happens to me (my wife is the pretty one). He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. Caring for my sick husband, I am going through untold suffering We are separated now for 6 months. Please let me know how you are doing. He is on disability because of multiple chemical sensitivity. I cried, yelled, threaten to go to his boss unless he told me the absolute truth. It's an inappropriate promise to ask for, and it's a . So, i left and walked around, when, i came back, they were not there. I still find myself wanting her back, I miss her. Her dad used to financially bail her out and her mum often was overbearing and smothered her. I wish it on no one.. Praying for you Wayne as I hope you pray for me.. Miracles still happened.. Your pain will pass and you will get back on ur feet again. She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with (yet managed for 5 years previously). I told myself I was going to focus on my health, going to workout again & eat right. Trying to figure out why your partner left you can become the bane o" /> My lawyer was shocked too and worked hard at just getting the things my mom gave me. If youre experiencing abuse, you might want to consider getting professional support. You will overcome this! I also was finding 100 S of dollars in her car over and over and over with the pills. No one is perfect, but Its not you. Cruel. Anyway, I told him to just ask his mom to.borrow 20 dollars we just had to make it to that Thursday that waa payday, but he got so mad at me and moved the tv and some of his other things out immediately and told me he was leaving me because he was worth more than I gave him credit for. So sorry for what you are going through. I was very scared and nervous . Christy, you just summed up my life since December. Shes married with two children as well, and was in a comfortable marriage. After he says I do his brain decreases the production of this new-love hormone. 4. What Is Cuckolding, and Why Are People So Turned On By It? - Yahoo I dont get it. article. No debt and no issues in life. I saw people that appear to be in other countries on here. I just gotta keep plugging along knowing deep down so much has gone wrong and continues and I just cant believe I brought children into this world with this person. And that makes it hard to think about anything else. jQuery(document).ready(function () { They often beg not to go back and cry that they want to stay with me just one more night. }, But I did it and discovered 2 empty bottles of butane. She and I know the marriage was no longer a marriage and to carry on would be a sham. The neurontin shut it off. She has lied to them and been found out. I threatened to call the police but never did out of fear of having anything to do with that kind of stuff and the kids. stop letting him treat you like a paper plate and let someone treat you like fine china. Definitely start working out. She kept calling me perfect for never putting a foot wrong and seemed to twist that to be a negative. So made loads of effort to make her life more enjoyable. After days of denying a relationship he finally admitted he had met her just over a month ago and they were seeing each other. Im wondering now if I should have. Instead of watching porn, telling him what you want is better. I just want some kind of advice i feel like there is no reason to live anymore And that this medication for *seizures* was effective *because* of the way my neurological system and brain was processing the lengthy aftermath of that injury. How do I get thru this pain? I know how difficult it is and I know how sad it is because I am here too but I am six months out, and the realization that I c could be better off starting to hit me. My oldest (6 at the time) came downstairs crying and gagging, I continually asked what was wrong and as she caught her breath she explained mommy was kissing another man and he was sleeping in my bed. I know that we can get through this.I am willing for now but Maybe, not for long. He hasnt come home in over two months. Well one month into my overseas job that was just for 18 monthsshe told me she was leaving me after the financing on the new house fell through. So even though this is anecdotal evidence at best, if you are suffering for so long over something traumatic that has created a lifetime of grief for you, I would suggest that you speak to a doctor about trying treatment with neurontin for a while, and seeing how you feel. They would go to the same school dances. We lost our connection several years before I left. I feel it to.. They say that telling someone you love them is one thing, but showing them is something else. Dont you think you deserve better than that???? So it isnt like he will be able to have her for sleepovers. She never wanted to make it more difficult then it already was for her children. He consistently talks down to me, even though I am highly intelligent, like Im a child who needs scolding. Wow harsh, I could swear that was written for me sheesh. What is weird is that his girlfriend walked right beside him and participated in destroying another human through this whole process. Respond to me let me know how youre doing :). But in the last 7months, he abruptly changed, despises me even talking or trying to work things out. He us definitely a narcissist. Ive talked to my family/friends but obviously its very hard for them to be impartial, and most of their advice has either been play a waiting game and wait for her to contact me, or forget about her and move on. I am missing a lot more but this story is long enough as it is. I respect her decision, but there is a lot of envy there. I had to get my own account because he kept taking huge amounts of money out of our joint account without even saying anything about it or what it was for. None of these are what God intended for marriage. My husband from the time they were little. Really sucks actually knowing it was never a mistake or anything like that. Plus she cheated on me 3 times that I know off. I started this relationship and had a son at age 19 years.. And you will get there. I was up all night waiting for her and when she got home at 8 am, it really hit the fan. You can restart your relationship after you reclaim your partners role in your life. The simple text messages that said I love you or I miss you meant so much. Can anyone offer any words of hope? I do not know what to do. I just dont get it.. Why the games? Any of these reasons could be applied to either partner in a relationship. When when I questioned her parenting style (her first sonmy stepson grew up to be a narcacistic bully), she came back the next week, having already been to a divorce attorney and had already filed. my husband and I been together since August of 2011 off and on and but we got married in 2014 but at one point we were broken up for a few months before we got back together, we both were seeing other people, and I told him about it when he asked before we got back together but the people text were still on my old phone and he saw it and just decided to end us I dont understand how he can do this after we told each other that we talked to other people when we werent together, like its so messed up because hes been cheated on me almost our whole relationship idk what to do I love him and I want us to work but the fact that his mad about somethings that happened when we werent together is messed up and Im just supposed to be okay with everything hes done me none of this makes sense, Im really hurt and I dont know what to do with myself :'(. I dont know how to handle this situation. You have kids? How about that? She was my world and the greatest mother our children could ever ask for. I read It goes back to their childhood when they were never held accountable for their actions and would lie and cover up rather than be chastised by their parents one of which was probably narcissistic too . Why Am I so Emotional Lately? | Psych Central Take time to really get to know who you are dealing with. Hes not sad, he goes out and parties with his friends during his parenting time with our son. he is getting laid off in I think 2 weeks and will be working back in bc and she will still be out there in a camp? But she left me with all unnecessary fear and stick to her parents decisions who doesnt know the ground reality but imagineIm praying to god please pray for me. I know how you feel Matt, im so sorry for you. Come to find out, there have been several items packed and taken from the home. He even deposited the 1st alimony early and as a (unrequested by me) convenience, closed my checking account and mailed a check to myour house to save me a trip to the bank! During the row he started screaming and shouting at me so i told him to go and he never came back and is saying i dumped him for no reason! I wasnt happy, i was controlled, questioned put up with his temper for long enough. Maybe tomorrow I will feel better, thats what I keep thinking & one of these times I will. Hi my husband has a habit, of being with me for about 4-5months , then takes off to do any and every thing for about two weeks . Hi Katelyn. With post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), you might feel irritable, hypervigilant, and/or emotionally detached. When she fills my waking hours and drifts effortlessly through my thoughts a hundred times a day, she is my love, my heart. I had told her that she needs help and that I was going to tell doctor about her abusing these pills. I had no idea she had been this unhappy for such a long time. Theres a reason to leave someone. Each counselor has said the same thing, he is focused on himself. Its like he wants to keep me down. / Do not allow someone to ever make you feel less or wrong. Some relationships break up because of issues that prevent them from being together. I know for my own good I will have to pick up my shattered heart and live as if it never happened. Her husband left her too because he has another woman. Chris, first let me apologize for what im going to ask. I hope youre doing OK. Did you ever get a reason? He made me feel like it was me, I realized later it was not and can not believe I spent so much time allowing him to make me feel this way. I am so sorry for you. He also sleeps in another room if I pursue him or attempt to resolve anything or he leaves the house. js.id = id; I insisted on leaving the house as my parents live close and he still couldnt stay here and he left and stayed 45mins away in a hotel. yourself or the other person. I must think it is permanant. I learnt from my partner of two and half years that any relationship can work. We have three kids, ages 5, 3, and one. The self centered traits of the narcissistic parent gets worse and they seem not to care if their mask is off in the end ! What felt worse is that he left after he found out that I was pregnant with his second child. She told me she is falling for another man. he used me. My names James, Im 25. But if you cannot have her sort what you want with the kids and remove yourself from the situation as soon as you can so you can focus on your kids and studies. Men are often afraid that if they begin to express what they are feeling in the face of their wifes frustration it will come out as anger and make the situation worse. my wife of 25 years had a facebook affair with a strange man from the UK she had this affair online for eight months.and they met only 10 month after his wife died. A cheater will only admit to what they think you already know and usually they wont divulge all the details. There was an excuse for every red flag that had shown up through the many years with the women whos emails he left open on his desk top , always the needy type in a bad relationship sad lonely women who fell for his charms (like he is some credible marriage guidance councellor haha ! ) You will get all the blame and even find yourself thinking maybe it WAS your fault ! and I dont know what to do. About 8 years in we had a son forcing us to live with her parents on a temp basis (a year!!) We started counseling and the counselor, who he choose, told him he was focused on the wrong things and needed to work on re-connecting with me. height: 1em !important; And he got away with it, because if the corrupt Judicial system. Wife of 17 years left 4mos ago. I was together with my wife for 19.5 years. I have worked my butt off to be well. She use to tell me I was a good man and was so good to her. $('.burgerMenu').click(function() { The gym for me kept me from drinking. He will begin to feel sad and frustrated that he doesnt know how to make his wife happy like he did earlier in the relationship. Then we play/claim victim. My husband of five years, 11years together came home from work, it had been a week since he works away from home and left me, one week before Christmas. Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. I rent a room now after owningy castle. Technically, there was no reason that I should have still been in such pain yet I was. Does Homeowners Insurance Cover Weddings? And moved in with one of our daughters (the mother of our grand babies) he stayed six weeks before her husband couldnt take it any more. Its so bizarre to go from being very loving and leaving cards and messages and notes about how honored he is to be my partner , to ..we never had it right and Im unhappy and Ive been unhappy for 10 years or our whole life. I am going through another divorce with my business partner, she will be leaving my office October . if ($(".submenu1").is(":hidden")) { I feel horrible for all of us. Your partner felt ignored and unappreciated. The councilor suggested that I pay a visit to my gynecologist to get things checked out. *they feel smothered Why Am I So Turned Off By My Husband? I loved my husband, I was happy. Its so weird! The cycle will get worse over time. There had been so many years apart and having four children between the two of us makes moving forward difficult to say the least. I love him and miss him so much. !.Good By.I am trying to be happy but its not working.I dont know how a person could ever feel more lonely and empty and unhappy.Im trying.. His excuse is he doesnt want the government involved.

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