Looking at you naked has to make your mans penis erect and that in INVOULNTARY. Absolutely! He wasnt saying some of the horrible things Ive read elsewhere. People please stop telling people that have no compassion all cause they dont want to be with someone obese, its their choice. But unlike some of you guys, I dont think she really cares. I really want her to be healthy and wish her the best but you cant change people they have to want to change. Seriously cant believe Sarah completely brushed off the question: do i leave her do i dont. I often question why the Catholic region for example request priests to be celibate if it goes completely against the nature of the male body. Was she promising to lose weight before yall got serious? Sometime it is selfishness and plain old carelessness that makes you eat alot of food. When I met my wife, I had been divorced from my first wife for about 8 months. A man with a alcohol for drug problem that is killing him slowly or a man with low to no income it fine to leave that dead bet but a women eating herself to death is different? I simply dont like fat chicks and have no interest in sleeping with one. It sounds like you deserve better. He is actually try to make it like he is dieting hard but just not losing weight, which are lies. "Instead, you want to encourage and cheer on the things they are doing right.". Hes a genius. I was ready to leave her then. I read about a man giving his wife the ultimatum to lose 40lbs or get divorced. I know it can be tough but you do need to hang in there and you do need to have a frank conversation with her. Would you accept another persons preference without judgement? There are other factors, which is why the diet industry and entire sectors of the weightloss industry aim their products and programes at people who find it difficult to lose weight for whatever reason, including changes that happen with age. Thats not a reason to stop loving someone. does she find you attractive? Now she weighs 400. His constant criticism makes it impossible to feel motivated. Our first born passed away right as I was graduating high school and she died in my arms from pre mature birth. I cant believe some of the comments left here. But it's come to a point where I get depressed about it and can't watch her destroy her body like this. I got married, then , as you are already guessing, did what is normally a life changing body event, got pregnant. Stop being everyones momma in here and go have some kids to look after. Do you experience gastrointestinal symptoms such as diarrhea, constipation, acid reflux, nausea, vomiting, or bloating two times or more per month? Its understandable that, if this plays out, you may consider walking away from the marriage. He walks to work now so he is losing some more weight, but it is not by choice. Believe me. If someones weight gain is truly a dealbreaker, and you truly feel they are being complacent about losing it, love them enough to be honest, leave them before moving on to another relationship. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! And to all of you saying she might be depressed, or have that gene, or whatever: what if it was the guy who went from the 190 he said he was to 410 pounds? Obviously if the man doesnt take care of himself then he shouldnt expect his partner too either. If a doctor wont tell her she is fat and noone reasons with her that she is an unhealthy weight. However, my wife will get all gussied up for church even though many women do not wear dresses there. This has happened in the last 2 years. Unfortunately, she discovered reality tv and kinda cut working out off. I started two weeks ago and will start again until I get it right. I have my own relationship with weight issues and great impact it has had on me, and on my relationships , not only with men, but with everyone in my life. Everyone feels as if their spouse is disrespecting them by getting and staying fat. Arguing about weight gain is embarrassing and an emotionally wrought discussion. Jeannie in her tent dresses inevitably draws wide-eyed stares, gaping mouths, finger pointing, and catty comments. Its also understandable if you decide to stay, in spite of your concerns, because of how you feel about your wife. Its really frustrating. If wife says the same, she is motivating her husband to stay fit. When your not attracted. It is a condition where a person has excess body fat, which can lead to various health complications such as diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer. After a long time, the child has long forgotten his true origin. He plays the victim when I tell him it is not right that I take better care if myself and lose the weight and work out and he dont, he just blows me off. The male has a different mind. She is taking medication for her thyroid but she refuses to eat healthy or to exrcise. If hed actually been supportive and helpful in the first place I wouldnt have ever gained that much weight. And shes apparently given up on trying to do so herself. NONE OF THIS WAS MY FAULT! Just replace it. It is sadly clear that this man does not understand what LOVE truly is. Some would answer for the sake of argument, well if I loved him I wouldnt mind. Some people eat cause they simply dont care and get comfort from eating food just like people do from reading and watching tv. Also, Goli Diet Gummies. He will go grab fast food when I cook a healthy meal. to follow him for his work. She is still not trying even after we separated. No true intimacy can take place under that condition. Its as if they see themselves without flaw, but judge the person who is supposed to be closest to them. I will never be able to trust anyone ever again because of my experience with this man. I was miserable. while she stays fit. Heres my main concern. Blessings in your journey, I know not everyone desires true intimacy on a deep level, but for those who do, learning to truly become one with someone means that you drop your superficial judgements, realize that you are responsible for yourself, including the thoughts of your heart. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. I loved her, but her body just got gross. If a woman cannot stop eating and refuses to exercise FOR YOU, then its obvious she does not care enough about staying with you. He finds her incredibly attractive now but she clinches every time he touches her, cant have orgasms and although they have sex there is no intimacy which he craves and misses as she is almost cold to him. Replace the word food with opiates, does that make her addiction sound worse or better? Whats repeatedly coming out here is: Right now Im in good shape (at a good healthy weight). This man will never leave me but I will never be able to make him happy. My wife of 20 years is 5 feet 2 and approximately 170 pounds. You are Married.. promised God for better or worse .. Thru sick. My wife had put on about 20lbs. I think about all the men with beer guts and balding heads. She is cheating (robbing you) of the woman you married. My wife does look 4-5 months pregnant she refuses to lose the baby weight from her pregnancy 14 years ago. She knows what she is doing, and she is choosing to do it on purpose. A few times we had to take him to hospital cause of heart. Both are the same. I moved to another state for my husband and family and left all my workout buddies, martial arts gym, beach, mountains, etc. I knew a young woman who told me she left her husband because he wasnt his own man. Our expectations can be different from what we learn later our spouse truly is. I am not 300 pounds, but I COMPLETELY understand how you feel so overwhelmed and discouraged. In my first month I have dropped 28 pounds and am slimming down. She had also lost alot of weight like me and feel cheated cause her husband is keeping a big hard beer belly and bing eating junk..etc. I just didnt care nor about my spouses feelings about it, and we became food addicts together, and it was toxic. It doesnt matter what he would want in the opposite situation. Somehow we are meant to accept that and listen to the excuses of. Ive never had to give her an ultimatum because she seems to know already what she needs to do Shes not a self motivator which is why I remind her everyday to get her exercise in For those having issues with the lazy ones on your lives. There is currently no reason for her to change because you are giving her everything unconditionally. Thanks. I just reiterate. That is the solution. despite trying different diets over the last 3 years, where I felt constantly hungry.I have no problem eating less than 20g carbs pro day and following the recipes, though I struggle a bit with eating so much fat (afetr being 5 years low fat and gaining weight!). And if were lucky, we all end up in diapers again. My husband started putting on weight when he stopped caring about having sex or doing anything that required moving around. because Im just buying froo-froo food. well Im not. Hell bring junk food and soda into the house and tell me that I need to just resist the temptation. He encourages us to eat out often. There are evolutionary, electrochemical reactions in his brain that makes him want to have a physically attractive women. Ive finally come to realize two things. That has to be about them regardless of me and my feelings. Sounds good. This a are mind games they play to make you surrender. It can be extremely difficult and the last thing a woman needs is the one who promised to love and cherish her no matter what telling her she is worthless and means nothing to you based upon a number on a scale When you sabotage a woman like this, you are part of the problem. So I settled. She probably only weighed 130-140 and was around 54-56. Posted on 2023-06-25 brandon rogers weight loss, Luxe Acv Gummies, Lose Weight In 2 Days, my wife is obese and refuses to lose weight. Please dont leave her over this. 1. I guess I just didnt have the wisdom to recognize it when I was younger. Someone had made a comment about the difference between sickness & health and for better & for worse. I completely agree with absolute loyalty and devotion as it pertains to sickness & health. Somehow the way social interactions have been set, its ok for men to look a bit rugged, to be a bit wrinkled, or a bit tubby. I have to work really hard to maintain a decent weight . I gained 100 lbs while married to my ex husband. Shes a quality woman and I thought I could work around it but I cant. Yet he goes days without washing while obese. I know I do. Dont put a guilt trip on this guy by saying that cancer should be equal to eating him out of house, home and marriage! A women should never expect a man to pay 100% of her wants and needs, Dont get me wrong, I really adore those husbands who WANT to take care of their wifes every need but they do NOT HAVE TO. Good Luck with that. WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY COUPLES HAVE GAINED INSIGHT TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE? Im not in the best financial situation, it would be a hardship for me to just leave, but I could do it. These things didnt work until she wanted to have a child once she decided she wanted a child she wanted to do it every day in a very standard unromantic way I did so but before I decided to conceive a child with her she promised me that she would work on this so we had a child now we havent had sex but about 4 times in 6 years she gained weight 2 years after we met each other shes always use that as an excuse of not wanting to have sex I dont know what to do Ive been a great husband I work everyday since I was 14 years old now Im 36 and Ive had no sex life at all since I was 29 it started when I was 28. As I stated, if the thin issue is so very vital to a person, they ought to consciously choose a partner to whom thinness is natural, about 20 percent of females. Im so dearly sorry that you lost your husband. Breasts sag. Go on r/loseit. And I don't expect her to be some size zero chick or anything. When I was very much into exercise and gym time, she would call it a whole lotta nothing. In fact, she believes anyone who exercises regularly is just OCD. Saying women cant lose 20 pounds in a month is also another excuse. My point here is if you know you are desperate, do not settle. Meanwhile, other women are trying to show your man they can be everything youre not. Maybe they should have changed their vows from Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only to her forevermore? to say something more like If this woman who you find hot today promises to stay tight as long as humanly possible and then obtain plastic surgery when it is no longer naturally feasible (because after all even if she stays thin, shes getting old), do you in turn promise not to leave her for a younger, thinner woman? At least then its honest. There needs to be a balance in a give/receive cycle. See additional information. WHEN SPOUSES START TALKING OR THREATENING TO DIVORCE OR HAVE AN AFFAIR, THATS A COPOUT! Your get one life and your happiness mean as much. Yes, time passes and bodies change, we all accept that, but what is not acceptable is not to make a genuine effort to maintain that same level of attractiveness. If you want things to change you have to speak up, create a plan, execute it, and hold yourself accountable to ensure it gets done! And make sure you follow through! I started at 5 10 256 pounds. 1 Express your concerns about her health, if appropriate. Beauty doesnt last forever now matter how much you try. I got to do a deep house cleaning every week. I was only 35. God bless us all. On top of that, a little effort makes almost no result, so you backslide. and in 18 years never made on sexual move on me. That became moot when you married, especially if you have children. I suppose this was karmas way of punishing me. There are some women, ecotomorph types, that will always be thin without diet and exercise( lucky them). . 2. I run marathons and workout regularly. Are you just not attracted to her anymore? ;) Hes a genius. I already hate how my weight has put me in bondage and believe it or not i try EVERY SINGLE DAY to get it under control. Just do it! Men know that they need to love, protect and provide for their partner to help them feel happy and satisfied in life. Normal people do not eat what they want when they want. I am very glad years ago I didnt decide to leave my family for my new girlfriend. After I suffered from severe depression and had nightmares almost every night that didnt go away for about two years. Im probably going to let her keep and sell the ring. Then what do you have. Only take in as many calories as you burn every day. The truth may stress her out intially but leaving your wife isnt part of until death does us part / That is crucial. We really do. I love my kind, generous, supportive husband but I despise his belly. He barely helped with ANYTHING, ever. They must be motivated to do so. When we met eight years ago, I was about 170 pounds and she was about 160. The Sacrament & Holy Union of Marriage means NOTHING to a single one of you as you are so readily & easily willing to turn your back on the one person you pledged your life to before God, family & friends! For over a decade Ive tried to get her to lose weight to no avail. Your life is going to be profoundly empty if you this perspective up. No woman wants to be fat. I stole this from another post. How would you like your daughter or mother to be treated? It Could even be hurtful that shes not trying for him. Now I have to some how figure out how to pay for these medical bills. I had the same issue last July. This coming from someone who plans on starting Coast Guard boot camp in a couple months. Leaving her may cause her to stress eat and gain more weight. Dont be afraid to tell your spouse that you are unhappy with their weight. Childish mistake! My mother has five kids and left two husbands cause they were making her unhappy. It was gone after hed lost 20 pounds, that was 80 pounds less pressure on his knees. I now own 2 businesses, work 12 hour days. This story is breaking . Reddit, Inc. 2023. My former husband, who suffered from immaturity and some other issues, called me lots of really bad names and berated me. Equivalency has nothing to do with this situation. This damage was there long before you met this person, so dont let them blame you for anything youre doing now. Thats just one excuse after another. Yes, even for a woman to be able to sex (that is not PAINFUL), she has to LIKE what she sees. Im Burnette, have brown eyes, weigh 114lbs (apparently size matters) , mother of a 1yr old son, going to school full time (taking 5 classes online, 15 credits), also working full time (getting paid less than the average wage for someone in my position and significantly less then what my husband is getting paid), married to the father of my child, who currently goes to school full time (12 credits), and works full time. He made me feel like shit. My girlfriend of 12 years has started to show signs of sickness like toenail fungus and yet does nothing to help herself. His personality got bad along with his health. He wasnt my husband but he was my partner for 6 years and my dearest friend for another 6 and was taken from me (all of us who loved him) suddenly. Wanting to stay healthy is a personal goal and not one you can set for someone else. You do not love her, do you want her to change to fit your image in your head Please go find somebody that looks perfect so you can impress your other shallow friends. Wow!! Most men in my position likely have beautiful wives. All of these problems, even that of the OP have something to do with the all-consuming, overwhelming pressure that is placed upon women in terms of their appearances. Its no joy having sex with a fat azzperiod! and when she gets more negative feedback it basically just confirms what shes already thinking and it feels like whats the point? But if someone is willing to believe in her, she may question that lying voice in her head, and start to challenge what is dragging her down so she can be the woman that her man knows her to be. I just want a way to ignite a bit of enthusiasm in her. Im in the same boat as the men in this forum. You only live once, and if you cant treat your spouse with respect out of bitterness, then do something about it so you can both live in peace. Your comment is naive, just as the other guy pointed out. Yes, refuse sex. Why dont they just listen. Calling a woman who has 4 kids and is responsible for 6 people lazy. Not only brilliant, but also one of the most gorgeous women Ive ever seen. My GF of 7 years has let herself goshe loves to eat junk and barely ever exercise..makes comments about being lazy as if it is a positive and sleep 10 hours a night. I think this goes both ways. if you are hitting yourself with hammer should I have to stay there and watch you do it? How is getting morbidly obese any different? This new age bull-crap ofYou should feel hot for your spouse no matter how they let their body fall apart is simply pie-in-the-sky bull. I was normal weighted until 5 years ago (161cm/57kg) but then began to gain lots of weight when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism with 50 and went into menopause. So thank you all for sharing. Set her free. She wont have sex because she feels fat and gross, but wont listen to me when I tell her otherwise and I CANT LOSE HER WEIGHT FOR HER! Of course, its possible your wife wont change, or even attempt to. Getting angry at your s/o is only making your life more miserable. To those that worry about what others might think, have confidence in your own likes and opinions. Ive been married 36 years my wife was 133lbs on our wedding day and I love her as much today as I did then. Therapy could elevate your relationship beyond just the fat issue. I told him, that if everyone can just go to work to workout there would be no obese people with jobs. I buy healthier food and he wont eat it. THEN THE ICING ON THE CAKE! If your spouse balloon up to 450 pounds, I seriously doubt you would stick around. What if you're not the one trying to lose weight but rather your . Cutting meat out of diet is not going to automatically make you lose weight. If he loved this woman hed be thinking of all that he could do to help her she may have a disease like Thyroid disease or a food intolerance. It is like the treasure chest, might be all rough and rusted and corroded on the outside, but open it up and wow, amazing sparkling priceless treasure. I put on all the weight while I was in very abusive, very destructive relationship. I thought I was with my life mate. The longer Im away from the gym, the more anxiety I get about getting back into it but if there is someone that will be disappointed if I dont show up, I show up. You have to leave otherwise you will follow in her footsteps due to losing hope and the will to be better and do better. And if you see them making a legitimate effort to lose weight or to get and stay fit, for YOU, be patient. Did you forget ..she wouldnt quit on you. Oh man, these comments made me lose my faith in humanity and marriage in general. And I know that because Ive been married to my second husband for 5 years now and have had another baby. I dont know how things will turn out with us. The authors conclude that "obesity in itself should not be a deterrent to undergoing total joint replacement to relieve symptoms." However, the potential for more complications must be considered as well, something this study did not formally examine. What makes me laugh is when it comes to anything else in marriage, a spouse has no trouble hearing it but when it comes to weight loss, we are meant to tip toe around it as if its like something we arent allowed to talk about. Are you a bad person for showing now empathy, trying to rid of the person you promised to love in good and bad times?

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